It's supposed to be natural, but the act of getting a baby to feed from your mammary glands is rocket science. Latching techniques, milk supply enhancements, nipple guards, nursing bras, pillows that wrap around your middle making you look like a ballerina with an over-starched tutu. There's more equipment for nature's fast food restaurant than make-up in Paris Hilton's purse. (It's gotta be in there somewhere beneath the dog.)
But I try to make light of it, especially at two o'clock in the morning, Dylan's new favorite snack time. To that end, I present the new names for my boobs. Tatas, pillows, knockers, melons--as if there weren't enough synonyms for breasts. Anyway, these names are inspired by the one-at-a-time, left-right approach of feeding a baby.
McDonalds & Burger King
Left Bank Café & Right Bank Bistro
Lefties & Righties
Chocolate & Vanilla
Unleaded & Diesel
Grande & Venti (Yes, one boob does offer more milk than the other)
Latte & Au Lait
Pizza & Beer
Dylan's crying out for the boobs right now. Got Milk? Gotta go . . .
